Wednesday, June 10, 2015


There's something very comforting about reading raw and personal pieces. Looking back on old posts to see how jolly we were, many cares but yet, it seemed like none in the world. Isn't it a little sad that what we ever hope to achieve is somehow rallied upon expectation. Gosh, Expectations, how I dislike that word. And yet, there is not a single day we live by, with not something to expect, or be expected of. What are we doing? 

Without expectations, we would be stagnant to where we have been. After all, growing till you're a child or teenager is what you're being expected of to do since you were a baby. Which is to grow. Year by year taller, smarter, having a bigger body, and maybe a little more adventurous. Soon enough we are expected to achieve ridiculous things like going to three extra classes in a day, or getting an A for science?. Not to mention friend-drama in school!

"I'm a child. I can't do all that!"

Suddenly it seems like we are going through the motion, being a child. Even up till now what we do everyday may come off as if we're a man-slave to our work. To what we do not realise is: potential. 

What can you achieve?

Ironically it nearly sounds like a contradiction to 'don't do what we're expected of'. It's not. What it is, is man wasn't made to just live and die. We succeeded for the past 2 million years and we get better every generation after. However have we lost it at some point of time? What was never meant to be is for a man to reaching the expectations of someone else. 

Reaching for what we potentials we can achieve with what was God-given is for man to be sure of himself, to be confident of his identity. Somehow this story turned into a horse race to see who has the fastest horse! Expectations, actually was meant for what we are to expect of ourselves for ourselves in our potentials. To what we can be, and what we can and want to do is up to our pace. 

I am pretty sure we were not placed here for the matter to plainly exist and float through. No, we were placed because the diversity of who we are were meant to complement each other and enjoy where we're being placed in and with. Enjoying is taken too lightly. Enjoy; to take delight and pleasure. Expectations should not hold us back from delighting and having pleasure with what we're given! We savour expectations for us. me. i. to build me up from within and co-acceptance-habitation of self expectations. 

Are we living the motions, or doing something for ourselves?

(P/s: I wasn't sure of where I was going with this, but it brought a breather to my mind as i wrote.)

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Today, I am thankful.

Listen: Amazed By You - Lincoln Brewster

Today, I am thankful. Thankful for parents. Parents that teach. 
Parents that teach by example. Teach by leading. By guiding. 

Today, I am thankful. Thankful for parents. My parents. 
Parents who teach, who taught. And still is teaching

To love others, especially those who make it difficult to love.
To bless others, because "We have been so blessed by God."

To accomodate with one another, and be hospitable.
To have a big heart, and forgive.

To never stop learning and improving yourself.
To always be thankful for whatever we have. 

To seek God more and more, and never stop.
To love, again, his children, and never stop.

Mummy, and Daddy.
Today, I am thankful for you. 

Friday, December 12, 2014

Benefit of the doubt?

What does it mean? It means giving someone a benefit and believing a statement because you aren't sure of it yourself. You Aren't Sure Of It Yourself. Aren't Sure Of It.

Keeping that last sentence in mind.

What are we thinking when spreading a rumour? Why can't we expect someone's intention to be of a good intention? Why can't we see the good in everyone? When someone shares with you the latest 'news' of one of your friend, and its not a very nice piece of news of hear, do you mark that friend of what he's being rumoured to be? 

Rumour; a mix of truth and untruth. 

Why would someone want to spread rumours anyway? I'm talking about rumours which degrade someone, or generally not very nice. In what way does it benefit you? Satisfying the need to talk brickbat about him?

If it doesn't concern you, who do it? If You're Not Sure Of It, how can you be so sure of your judgement on someone?

Even if the so called rumour is true, then shouldn't we be apart of helping him? Building him up?Being a friend? Shouldn't we instead, be extending grace and love? Shouldn't we be giving the benefit of the doubt to that person? Shouldn't we be seeing what is wrong with ourselves before trying to change another person? Shouldn't we evaluate ourselves when we even have the desire to badmouth someone? 

Everyone deserves a benefit of the doubt. Everyone deserves to have a friend. Everyone deserves to be given grace, just as freely this grace has been given to us by God. It makes me sad when I look at myself and see that I have failed to do so. When my flesh has taken over my spirit, who is called to be of God. To Be Of God - that's quite a tough task to carry out. But it doesn't ask us to be God, just to reflect his likeness. And giving grace is one of it. 

This is a mental note to myself, and especially my spirit to always reflect before uttering something out- to always give grace to people around me as freely as it has been given to me. 

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Spring Cleaning

Listen: He Knows My Name - Tommy Walker // Give Us Clean hands - Mark Schultz // Isn't He - Terry Clark // God of Wonders - Mac Powell and Cliff & Danielle Young // Beautiful Jesus - Kristian Stanfill //
Spring cleaning of the heart. 
It has been a rough few months back, and after some time I'm beginning to see how things are starting to work out. I've never really experienced feelings that I have went through this few months and I thank God that this period of time has been an eye opener. I have never known that sadness, loneliness and brokenness can be SO SO REAL in someone's life. It has never crossed my mind that this feeling would sink in so much into someone, and how much it can affect one. I am so sorry for my ignorance. I now know how depressing it is, and I understand how frustrating it is that all does not go the way as it is before; You are thrown out of your comfort zone, by your comfort.
I now walk out of it, even though it has taken me quite some time and I start to see how my experience could be a turn-over to someone else, or maybe to myself again in the future. During that time, I have countless times questioned God - why did He do this, what did I do to deserve this, why am I alone. If only He could be right there, physically with me, situation would not be that bad.
What I failed to see is the way God is testing our faith in Him, to thoroughly DEPEND on Him alone. To have faith - the substance of things hopes for, the evidence not seen (Hebrews 11:11). What I did not see was, He wanted me to have solitude with Him. I might have been so caught up in so much in my idea of earthly comfort and my idea of security that I did not realise that I have been neglecting my TRUE security blanket, and comfort. I can really say that this time brought me to realisation and I now am working to get back on track. Ultimately, it boils down to a close relationship with the Creator. Going astray, and back again to the Father, is a common cycle. Because we are so of the flesh, that we are never contented with what we have that we'd choose to pursue new subjects and when it fails, we run back to the Father.
I don't blame myself that all of this had to happen to me, just to realise these things. It was all worth it. If I did not go through it, my faith would not be tested and strengthened, I would not have known the reality if the Prodigal-Son-Cycle. It is never too late to take that leap and leave what you thought was too great a burden to bear, and leave it to God. Is your heart willing?
I still cannot say that my struggles are completely over, but I strongly believe that God makes everything perfect in its time. It is always a reminder to me that God is in control, and not myself. How short sighted we can be in looking into the future, why not let the one who is all-knowing decide for you?

Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-25)

1And he said, “There was a man who had two sons. 12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he dividedhis property between them. 13 Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. 14 And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to[a] one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. 16 And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything.
17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’20 And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’[b] 22 But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. 23 And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.
The Father is waiting, are you willing? :)

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Sunday, 06.04.2014

Waking up to a song in your head is the best feeling ever, especially when its to Planetshaker's - I'm Gonna Praise. That's what happened to me this morning and it defo, made my day. I suddenly recall looking forward to Sunday, last night before sleeping. Maybe looking forward to something the day before makes the next day better?

Slipped into my pink knit top and black and white daisy skirt, dabbed some makeup and my jelly bunny flats. I'm off to church! What I want to share is something that i realised today in church.

During the Holy Communion today, this thought came to me; where has my passion for God evaporated? Where is my desire for Jesus? I suddenly thought of this one sunday service few months back where I just poured my heart out to God - Praise and cried.

Where is that energy for God now? I silently prayed for God to revive me, to take me to the place where i was before, once again. To have an intimate relationship with Him again. To put it in a crude way, to knock my head and say, ' hey princess, its time to come home.' I cried.

This season, is the season to get my (spiritual) water level up, to remember to go back to Him to replenish, refresh, restore and bask in His presence, constantly. I feel so very privileged to have known this God and Jesus, as what? As someone I call my Daddy in Heaven, my best friend, my Saviour, my salvation. Someone that can I can trust, that I can hope and depend on. How awesome is that?!

I am beyond grateful to experience this amazing God, would you want to too? :)

Maybe you'll wake up with this song too. hehe God bless <3 

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Etude House Happy Teatime Cleansing Foam

I know it has been almost a year I last updated this abandoned site and I feel so bad, its like how I abandoned my (not real) pet cat, rabbit, goldfish and potato. Tough life you gotta attend to so many matters man. jokes

So, I have been getting into Etude House a lot lately and got a few products that I want to document about how is it doing for me! My true opinion here sharing what I like and what i might not ... so that you can avoid buying or faster go grab it! ;)

I've been using my Mary Kay and Garnier Sakura for quite a while now and I decided to get this since I was thinking of getting a new one to try out and I like green tea. This is a very big tube of cleanser, biggest I've ever used - 120ml and comes with a open close cap. It is a light green colour which looks veh pretty hehe

Original price (on Qoo10) - RM 27.50 , but I got it during promotion for RM9.90 .

There are five types of formula in this line ; 
  Milk tea  for Moisturizing and smoothing
 Lemon Tea  for Vitalizing and nourishing
  Peach Tea for brightening and clarifying
  Aloe Tea  for moisturizing and complexion health

The Green Tea one is for pore cleansing and oily shine relief. Yes this is what that went wrong, I don't need that because this cleanser is not for my skin, but I would be ready to take up a challenge if I got the chance to get the milk tea or aloe tea cleansing foam ^-^ yes i live dangerously, like amanda. 

I did read a few reviews on this and it only required a small amount. I used a pea sized amount, with some water, rub and lather onto my face.

The substance lathers very nicely onto the skin as you rub. Smell wise, definitely not very green tea-ish. Its gives quite a pungent smell and does not smell very pleasing although its bearable. gosh i make it sound so bad hur . Always remember to close your eyes tightly when you rinse your face, because it tingles when the foam gets into your eyes. 

I doubt it removes heavy makeup because even with only brow pencil and sunscreen on my face, the brow colour doesn't seem to be removed completely. 

On my skin, after using this my face feels stripped and dry. I should've expected it because this is a cleansing foam and most of them makes the aftermath (woah) of cleansing the face, feel dry and bleh. If you have used the ZA cleansing foam, the one in the pink bottle, you'll know what I mean. If you notice, cleanser with a pearly texture usually are foam cleansers and lather more. 

As my skin type is normal and I could say in an okay condition, and not oily, I prefer cleansers that are more moisturizing and milky. This green tea cleansing foam gives the 'too clean' after feel on my skin. 

Overall, I would give this a 2.5/5 as this is not for me :) Would I repurchase again? I wouldn't also. But ! If you have a more oily or combination skin, give it a try because it might just work for you :)
Cleansers like this are also good for people with sensitive skin! 

what would a blogpost be without my face right ?! hahaha ok still a post. but a boring one. yehhhhh

Till I update again! What type of cleanser do you use? <3 Maybe I should do a post on my fave cleanser :)

Tuesday, February 25, 2014


Marking this day when I come back to blogging, even though it might just be for a while. Look! I even made a new header to celebrate this joyous occasion. *alones 

I like it quite a lot leh, although its not centred at the blog header because I have no idea how its done or I could have forgotten ! View from your phone because it looks better, smaller. hahaha 

All the sighing in semester one with Paint.Net did pay off after all. yes I am veh amateur  using that because Photoshop is like eating jam with a sunflower ... Impossible, and i don't have either of those. Yes, if you get what I mean. :B

Ahhh the simplest also perfectly fine lah because I have no choice. I need lessons on how to properly edit! oh oh another thing to do in this 3 weeks ! I really hope I can update more during this sembreak. Till we wink again ;) ok so flirty. Goodbye sounds better eh? bye.